Childbirth is an extremely intimate, vulnerable, emotional, and truly incredible experience. Therefore, you should be picky when selecting who you want in the room with you when it happens. While each woman will have different opinions on who she wants to be present, a certified doula school graduate can ensure an expectant mother has the ideal birthing team there to support her.
Partner
Most women elect to have their partner present with them for the birth of their baby. Women who have a supportive partner with them throughout the entire process are fortunate. Although this isn’t possible for everyone, including single moms and women with partners in the military. Fortunately, expectant mothers can still have a good and memorable birthing experience if she has support from other people in her life.
Friends/Family
For some women, giving birth is a spectator sport, where they want as many people as they can there with them. But be wary of who you invite to be there, as you will only want positive and supportive people in the room. Try to avoid having individuals who will attempt to make the moment about themselves, offer unhelpful advice, or simply be a bother. Doula’s often like to say, “Birth isn’t a spectator sport! Each person in the room can add time to the labor.”
Doula
A doula can be there to support you throughout the entire process in ways that your emotionally attached friends, family, and partner cannot. A doula will still be empathetic, but won’t tell you to get an epidural if getting one is against your wishes. Sometimes the people closest to laboring mothers are uncomfortable seeing them experience a natural birth. A doula who has completed doula school will do everything in their power to help you have your ideal birth. When interviewing doulas, find someone you feel the strongest connection with, who understands what kind of birthing experience you want, and you want to be there to help when you are at your most vulnerable.
Who you choose to have beside you when you deliver your baby can be a determining factor in whether you look back on it in a negative or positive light. Women who feel loved and supported by their birthing team generally experience shorter labors with fewer interventions than those without. Remember this is YOUR birth, you call the shots—that includes who you have surrounding you.
Author: Aliza Juliette Bancoff
Aliza Juliette Bancoff is a well-known doula and doula trainer who has been providing doula services to families for over a decade. She is the founder of Main Line Doulas, a doula group providing doula support in the great Philadelphia area for the last decade, the International Doula Institute, which provides online doula training and lactation training and certification programs and the International Breastfeeding Institute which provides lactation training and certification. She is the co-founder of United Birth, a company devoted to increasing access to doulas across the country to make the perinatal time safer both physically and emotionally. “Every birthing person deserves access to quality doula support. And we are working to make that a reality across the country. The work we are doing to get doulas to every birthing person will decrease the black infant and maternal mortality rate significantly by 2030.” Says Bancoff. Aliza is known for her compassionate and empowering approach to doula work, and she has been featured in numerous media outlets, including United Nations Maternal Health Report, Parent Magazine, CafeMom, theBump and many more. Aliza's journey into doula work began when she gave birth to her first child and felt a strong calling...