If a pregnant person has a supportive partner, is a doula beneficial? Yes! Doulas benefit dads and partners. How? Well, in many ways. A doula does not replace a dad or partner. They support the whole birthing family unit.
It might come as a surprise, but many dads and partners report a doula helped them just as much as the birthing person. Yes, a doula’s primary focus is on the birthing person. However, the best way to support a birthing person is to support the entire family.
When it comes to childbirth, the focus understandably tends to be on the expectant mother and her needs. However, the presence of a doula can profoundly benefit partners too. As doulas, we offer invaluable support, guidance, and reassurance. We can help dads and partners navigate the emotional and practical aspects of childbirth with confidence and ease.
Prenatal Preparation
One of the hardest things about being a dad or partner when it comes to birth is knowing what to expect and what your role is. As a doula, you can include dads and partners in prenatal visits and help them understand what to expect.
When you discuss birth options, comfort measures, and what to expect during labor, it is important to include dad’s role in each part. While every birthing family is unique, you can take time to learn about their situation, preferences, and what areas of strength and weakness a support person has.
When dads and partners know their role and what their birthing partner expects from them, they are likely to have a more positive experience.
Doulas Benefit Dads and Partners With Emotional Support
Birth can evoke a wide range of emotions for the birthing person and their partner. In your training with IDI, you learn about the wide array of emotions from positive excitement to fears and concerns. While we expect both to experience emotions, in many situations, the focus goes straight to the birthing person.
As a doula, you can play an important role in checking in with dads and partners. When they feel emotionally supported, they can better support their birthing partner. The birth person benefits significantly from support from their loved one. However, if the dad or partner is struggling themselves, it can be hard to provide support.
Your reassuring presence helps dads and partners feel validated, supported, and empowered to navigate the emotional rollercoaster of birth.
Education and Guidance
For many dads and partners, birth is an unfamiliar territory. Doulas serve as knowledgeable guides, equipping dads and partners with essential information about the birth process, comfort measures, and medical interventions.
By normalizing birth and explaining potential procedures in layman’s terms, doulas empower dads and partners to help support the birthing person in making informed decisions. The knowledge and support helps them actively participate in the birth of their child.
Doulas Benefit Dads and Partners With Relief and Respite
Labor is no doubt physically and emotionally demanding for the birthing person. However, it can also be a bit demanding for dads and partners. For example, if a birthing person is finding a double hip squeeze or a supported squat helpful, it can get tiring sustaining those for her. As a doula, you and the dad or partner can take turns providing physical support to the birthing person.
Having two people available for continuous support is also helpful for needing bathroom breaks, a moment to grab a drink, or to grab a small meal. Tag teaming with each other during a longer labor benefits the partner which benefits the birthing person.
Immediate Postpartum Support
Our support doesn’t end with the birth of the baby. We provide in-person and hands on support for at least one to two hours after birth. During this time, we can help facilitate initial skin-to-skin and breastfeeding initiation. We can also be an extra set of hands, a chance to offer reassurance and early bonding with dad or partner.
It is not uncommon for dads and partners to be a bit intimidated by this little new life. While the birthing person has held them for nine months, the non-birthing parent is feeling them for the first time. They seem fragile and they are fully dependent on the caregivers. You have a chance to help facilitate skin-to-skin with dad, early bonding, and some basic infant care guidance.
Doulas benefit dads and partners by facilitating early interactions and hands on care. The sooner a dad or partner jumps in and cares for baby, the sooner their confidence will build. The more confident and hands on they are, the better supported the new mom will feel.
Yes, our primary role as a doula seems to be the birthing person. However, when we focus on the family unit, we benefit dads and partners, and in turn provide the best support for welcoming a new baby.
Author: Aliza Juliette Bancoff
Aliza Juliette Bancoff is a well-known doula and doula trainer who has been providing doula services to families for over a decade. She is the founder of Main Line Doulas, a doula group providing doula support in the great Philadelphia area for the last decade, the International Doula Institute, which provides online doula training and lactation training and certification programs and the International Breastfeeding Institute which provides lactation training and certification. She is the co-founder of United Birth, a company devoted to increasing access to doulas across the country to make the perinatal time safer both physically and emotionally. “Every birthing person deserves access to quality doula support. And we are working to make that a reality across the country. The work we are doing to get doulas to every birthing person will decrease the black infant and maternal mortality rate significantly by 2030.” Says Bancoff. Aliza is known for her compassionate and empowering approach to doula work, and she has been featured in numerous media outlets, including United Nations Maternal Health Report, Parent Magazine, CafeMom, theBump and many more. Aliza's journey into doula work began when she gave birth to her first child and felt a strong calling...